Semi-empty nest syndrome

Our text (Wedding & Stuber, p. 40), defines "empty nest syndrome" as a personal crisis marked by depression and loss of identity, and further suggests that this phenomena affects some women more than it does men. This time of change that occurs within the family dynamics is usually resultant of the transition of children physically moving out of the home. Though this is by some parents, is a perceived time of welcomed relief, it can be a time of awareness of one's own inevitable change in lifestyle.

All situations are unique and it is without doubt that parents experience a variety of emotions, realizations, and periods or readjustment. Such is the case within our home. Depression and loss of identity aren't factors in my personal situation; however I absolutely and without question have been in the process of adjusting to the changes as a result of my eldest moving into a house with her roommate while she is in college. In my situation there is no other adult within our home, to communicate these transitions with. So many years were joyfully spent within the role as "housewife". Never was there a stagnant (or dull) moment. I have full recognition of this process and the thoughts that accompany the transition are understood, yet some of you may perceive this as melancholy; it is more the sorting through of what must be done from here --forward (introspection), and the conscious energy it takes in order to place more focus on the future of self, rather than my girls (one of which is still at home-thus the reason for my title: semi-empty next syndrome). The normal excitement that couples anticipate once they are on their own again doesn't exist. For me, it is the hope and promise of what is unknown that can be a bit frightening at times and at others, thrilling.

It was very important to me to be provide security, basic needs, and availability to the girls; not just because I was a parent and it was natural, but because they had to endure divorce, and I was especially sensitive of their needs and emotions. As my eldest grew into early adulthood and my younger daughter is rapidly approaching the same, the transition was/is gradual, as they had to be very independent when I returned to college. The text narrows this section (understandably) and suggests a very limited perspective, probably because there is only so much information they can put into 350 pages. If I were to chart the progress of the transition process, with I as a separate category (divorced empty nest syndrome), it would constitute a chapter or three....better stop here.